Cyclical conflict
We live in a society that tells us life is linear. Put one foot in front of the other. Make progress. Constant progress. Always on the up and up. Perhaps that’s been your experience, but I feel like I’ve been at a constant battle with my energy levels and capacity since I was a child. I don’t wake up everyday with the same energy, let alone the energy it requires to execute all of what has been expected of me. When I discovered the concept that we are cyclical beings, everything shifted for me. I started to have more accurate expectations of myself, and I felt better equipped to make decisions based on my needs, and where I was on this spiral that is life.
One of my mentors, Dr. Siva Mohan, taught me the idea of the psycho-spiritual-emotional spiral. Think of a slinky that’s been pulled apart. If you were to trace the edge you will go up at some points, and at others you will have to go down, but inevitably you move forward. Like when a planet is in retrograde, where it feels like it’s going backwards, only to actually make progress and move forward. We as a society are pretty unable to see the downward portion of the spiral, where things may be challenging, energy may be low, as “unproductive”, and therefore useless. While it doesn’t always feel the best, it’s necessary to keep moving forward. And the important part is to actually know where you are in the spiral, so you can keep in mind that wherever you are will inevitably change. If you’re feeling low, you have nowhere to go but up. And while you’re riding high- ENJOY. Because it is temporary.
Like the waxing and waning of the moon, or the shifting of the seasons, and the rise and fall of the sun each day, we live in a world that is cyclical. Each week repeats, each month, then years. Unfortunately it can be hard to determine which cycle is running the show in our lives. I always had a hard time with the new year falling in January, when I saw September, the start of the new school year as my real calendar. And the Monday through Friday cycle that leads you into the weekend. These are cycles I had first hand experience with. Now, waking up everyday and having completely different levels of energy, differing levels of emotional capacity (ie.patience), and not realizing that this is an experience we women all have- due to our 28(ish) day hormonal cycle. Meanwhile the world is set up per a man’s 24 hour hormonal cycle. It was eye opening, and provided me with a sense of relief. It wasn’t me. It was jsut a system that wasn’t set up for me.
But there are many different cycles we can align ourselves with, and unfortunately many of them are in conflict with another, like the work day schedule, or the idea of a New Year (Jan 1st, Chinese New Year in February, Astrological New Year in April, or new school year in September!) While information is considered power, sometimes it can lead to overwhelm. I’m supposed to be on a certain cycle as an employee, a different cycle as a student, and even different as a mother! How overwhelming! There’s the belief that women are supposed to ovulate on the full moon, and bleed on the new moon- but if not does that mean something is wrong?!
It can all feel like a lot, but diving into Ayurveda allows you the time to get familiar with the different cycles you are entangled in, and how to gently parse them apart, and discover your personal rhythm. I love the idea of alignment. Of there being a way of being that feels right for you. And it may not be what society says, what your family deems or even your job, but how can you make small manageable shifts in your day to day life to better support the cycle that works for you? I’m here to help.
